Lindsey Kelk
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Roller Blah


Roller Blah

I am not a negative person.
Cynical, sometimes a little bit sceptical and often doubtful.
But hey, I try and see the glass half-full.

Which was why I was so excited to be invited to the Blistex Roller Ball this week. To celebrate Lip Splash being voted as one of the products of the year, Blistex (or rather their PR company) held a roller ball in Vauxhall (the home of disco…) – It’s got a rollerball applicator you see.

Now I love disco, I love (or loved when I was 7) rollerbooting and I am a huge fan of all sorts of camp fun, so armed with some buds I headed over to, ahem, Vauxhall for a roller ball bonanza.

A bonanza was not had.

Some words of advice to Blistex/unnamed (out of politeness) PR company:
1. If you genuinely want to break a world record, do not attempt it on a Wednesday night.

2. Do not attempt to use a room full of freeloaders who are a) a bit drunk because you’ve been serving booze and b) a bit tired and/or pissed off because you’ve had them skating round in a circle for two hours waiting for you to start your ‘attempt’.

3. Mention to said freeloaders before they are finally allowed to get in line for record attempt that they will be expected to roller skate for almost TWO MILES to break the record.

4. Do not employ angry skating obsessives to shout at semi-drunk/sleepy people for ‘looking around at each other’ and ‘not taking this seriously enough’. They’re not taking it seriously – they just wanted a free lip balm.

5. Do not lead 232 people, 200 of which have not roller skated since 1986, OUTSIDE THE CLUB on a bit of cardboard. Someone will fall, sue and Blistex will be out of business.

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, ultimately the record failed and camp fun was not had by all. After being bullied all the way round the course, someone let go just as we were almost back inside. Since the first attempt took an hour and failed, we bailed on the second.

I’m not sure what the PR company’s aim was from this because all I saw being generated was a lot of ill will towards the brand and lots of photos of grumpy people being shouted at. The first hour was great – lots of Jackson Five and bad alcopops on wheels but as soon as the record came into play… Eurgh. Messy.

And, as a sidenote, I find Lip Splash a bit greasy (sorry) and the moisturising effect only lasts for approximately five seconds before you have to reapply. Which is really difficult when you’re in a rollerbooting chain and you’re not allowed to let go…http://0

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