I have three very important announcements to make:
1. I am very very hungover and therefore the quality of this post may not be what you are used to
2. I have to go out again tonight and tomorrow night and I am concerned for my liver
3. This post marks both the end of January and our New Year theme and the beginning of February and The Great Kiss Off 2009
Yes, The Great Kiss Off 2009.
Myself and a self-sacrificing team of testers are combining our dedication to investigative journalism, our passion for cosmetics and our unbridled love of kissing boys to bring you the lowdown on the very best lipsticks on the market for luring boys in for kissing, keeping your lips in good condition for kissing and staying put during kissing. Clearly, all very important, need to know things.
And so, to get myself into the best possible pouting position (not physical position, that would be inappropriate right now, wouldn’t it?), I’m limbering up with liberal applications of The Best Lip Balm Ever, Creme de la Mer The Lip Balm. As a connoisseur of lip balms (I can see three on my desk right now) it really does take something to impress me and this really is the best. I know it’s not cheap but a) it’s pay day, b) it tastes delicious and c) keeps your lips looking and feeling poutalicious, even in the most awful hot or cold conditions or after kissing a man with lots of unpleasant but strangely hot stubble. I never ever fly without it because one slick every couple of hours on a long haul flight will sort you right out.
And quite frankly, I have a lot of important kissing, I mean, research to do for you and I need the very best equipment to make sure I’m getting accurate readings.
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa.