Lindsey Kelk
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All I want for Christmas is…


All I want for Christmas is…

I’m quite tired but I promised I’d write this post ages ago.
Apologies if this isn’t what you were expecting, everyone who said ‘can’t you just write something on that stupid website about what you want for Christmas so I don’t have to ask you directly?’ Maybe you should have come up with something by now, hmm?

A Mogwai

I’ve always really wanted one. Seriously. Ask my mum.
Spent quite a lot of time as a little girl looking for one in the markets of Minorca and Lanzarote. Can’t get one for anything.

My Little Pony Dream Castle

I did pretty well as a child, really. I only had to throw myself down on the floor of Woolworths and wail to get something once. It was a golden Tuesday in the Doncaster Frenchgate Centre and it was totally worth it. That tantrum resulted in my grandad buying the Princess Ruby My Little Pony just to shut me up.
BUT, spoiled rotten or not, there is always an exception. One Christmas, all I wanted in the whole wide world was the My Little Pony Dream Castle but I was repeatedly told that I would break it, lose the pieces and just generally couldn’t be trusted with it. My parents were right. They’d probably be right to this day. But still…
Look at it! It’s amazing! Majesty! Spike! I’m still pissed that the ponies gave it away at the end of My Little Pony the movie. Anyone else notice Majesty wasn’t in that? I’m pretty sure there was some sort of bloody off-screen revolution led by Spike, Wind Whistler and the unicorns. Self-righteous cows. Or ponies. Paradise Estate my arse.

Dr. Who style visit to the French Revolution

Speaking of revolution…
I don’t know if it’s because I love Les Mis (for shame) or all the amazing bloody facts I remember from A Level history but I’ve always had a bit of a fascination with the French Revolution. Like how they ate the Princess de Lamballe’s heart and the whole Marat/Charlotte Corday/throat slit in the steam bath he had to take because of  his fungal infection thing due to living in the sewers and stuff.
Actually I do know. It’s totally the latter. I’m a little odd and bloodthirsty.

To get the 4D Agents back together
When we were kids, me, my big brother and my cousin picked up ID cards from something called the 4D Agents at our village fete. Having no idea what they were actually for, we just started our own bike gang. I must have been, oooh, six? Hardcore, I know. Mostly we just rode around on bikes while my nana’s neighbour filmed us doing wheelies. Seems a bit creepy now, when you think about it. Of course, as respectable adults (cough) I really feel like we could get back together and do some good. Or just play Thundercats then watch Wacaday again. I don’t mind really.

Terry’s Chocolate Orange

Another family Christmas tradition. Every year my mum would buy one for me and my brother and we would challenge each other to eat as much as possible before breakfast. This all fell apart the year I managed to eat it all and then promptly threw up. Oh the memories.

The WWE Championship

Because I really think I’m more deserving of it than The Miz. Seriously.

The Room

I have apparently done something good this year because the universe delivered this cinematic masterpiece into my hands earlier this week. I owe the universe big time. I cannot, CANNOT even begin to explain it to you. It’s terrible. It’s wonderful. It’s genuinely one of the worst movies ever. Worse than In and Out with Kevin Kline. It’s amazing.
I should clarify this really is something I just want for me and you should not even entertain it unless you are someone who likes bad movies.
Otherwise you might think I am mad. Which I might be.

My Family

I am super, super excited to be spending my first Christmas in NYC. I have the tree up, my tartan nightshirt has been purchased and I’ve got my mincemeat (AT LAST) to make santa’s mince pies but there’s going to be something missing and that’s the fam. Regardless of the fact we fight like cats and dogs, me and my brother nearly died twice on the drive to visit my dad last year (and that was sans snowpocalypse) and that annually me and the other cousins manage to ruin Christmas before the end of Boxing Day, it still feels wrong to know they’re not going to be in the kitchen slagging me off when I shout at them all to shut up while I watch Dr Who. And who’s going to force me to eat more food than is humanly possible if my nana isn’t here? Thank god they sent me back with Ferrero Rocher and After Eights.

Christian Louboutin Loubis Babes Glitter Covered Pumps (in a 38)

The silver ones. Because they make me feel funny inside.
Well, did you really think I was going to end on family?http://0

(1) Comment

  1. I agree about the family, this will be my 2nd xmas away feom them in 23 yrs, give or take.

    Don’t want to believe there is no Terry’s Chocolate Orange in NYC but I may be able to send you some, after xmas from Canaduh. If serious about it, you can email me a mailing address.

    Finally, so as not to end in the creepy note of the address, stupid me didn’t know Louboutin made kitten heels too. Now I want them too although I don’t think they make 41 (love it how you also used european sizes)… Never owned or dreamed I could own a pair, will have to look into how much it’ll cost me to save for them hahahahaha

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