Lindsey Kelk
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Valentines Schmalentines


Valentines Schmalentines

First off, I’m just going to say, it’s really, really hard to write a blog post about Valentines day as a single girl without coming off as a) tragic b) bitter or c) desperate. How weird is that? We’re all being held hostage by a Hallmark holiday designed to sell cards and overpriced flowers (see? c) bitter). It hardly seems fair, every other day of the year, we’re applauded for being successful, strong and happy single women but come February 14th, you’d better stay out of sight, you hideous unloveable single beast…

That said, I’m not sure it’s any better if you’re actually in a couple. There’s so much pressure to be the most in love couple, to buy the most impressive present, choose the most thoughtful gift, write the most personal love note – drama. If you’re in love, you’re in love. Isn’t that enough? And god help the boyfriend who misreads his situation. Sure, she might say she ‘doesn’t do Valentines day’ but really, that doesn’t mean you don’t. If in doubt, get flowers. It will only work out well for you, trust me.

My most successful Valentines day was at the age of twelve when I went on a double date; ice skating at the Doncaster Dome followed by Stay Tooned at the cinema. I even got a rose. Romance took a nosedive between 1993 and 2011. As I got older, it was more about impressing everyone else rather than celebrating how awesome it is to have someone to love, who loves you. I probably should have known something was up with my ex when he sent me flowers to work with a note saying ‘now you can look smug in front of everyone in the office’.
And he probably should have realised when he bought me perfume and I bought him Sex Tips from Hipsters. That didn’t go down that well.

And even worse than being in a couple or single – what if it’s only early days into a thing and you don’t even know what’s going on? What’s the deal there? I have no idea. You don’t want to offend your potential valentine by ignoring the day completely but at the same time, you can’t scare them off by sending a singing telegram to their house to declare your undying love with a dozen red roses and tickets to a sunset cruise. Can you? Hmm. Probably not. I’m guessing the answer isn’t writing ‘I wuv you sweetie’ on their Facebook wall either. In fact, I’d say steer clear of social media for the duration of February 14th.

Two of my lovely Valentines…

This year, I am the luckiest girl in all of New York. I have a bunch of Valentines to choose from. Granted they’re primarily girls and gays but they’re coming in from all over the world to visit and I can’t wait. We’ve got karaoke, gin and High School Musical Mystery Date on the agenda – what could be more romantic than that?*

*you’d be right to point out an actual date with an actual boy but I’ve probably cocked that right up. Another story for another time…http://0

(3) Comments

  1. Ok whats a high school musical mystery date?? cos its sounds like something I want, is zac efron involved haha?

  2. Hear! Hear!

    It’s particularly hard when you are a blogger and are supposed to voice your feelings at this time of the year. Last year I did a post about a Valentine’s card I’d sent to a boy when I was 11. I’d asked him if he’d like to be my boyfriend a few days before and he’d told me to ‘Eff off!’ Charming. So then I sent him a card that I’d drawn a picture of a hen on and had written ‘you and your mouth are fowl’.

    Funniest part was that my cousin recently gave me a load of letters I’d sent her as a youngster. One detailing this story but saying that I’d sent a boy a card with a picture of a cock on it!

    Rapunzel x

  3. The V day plan ?
    Chocolate, Bridget Jones’s Diary and Vodka 🙂
    Who need’s a man when you have thorntons, Sky + and your local booze busters ?

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