So, I’m stood outside Coffee Shop on Union Square waiting for my friend and the following exchange takes place. Please expect to see this in a future book…
Man (with no front teeth): Excuse me, have you got a cigarette?
Me (with all front teeth): Um, no.
Man: OK. You looked like a smoker.
Me: Hmm. Nope.
Man: Can I ask a second question?
Me: Um *looks around desperately for friend* Yes?
Man: Do you have any spare change?
Me: No. Sorry.
Man: I feel like I already know the answer to this one but I have a third question.
Me: Go on then…
Man: Could I get your phone number?
Me: Um, noooooo.
Man: Yeah, I didn’t think so. I love your hair.
Me: Thanks *furiously dials salon to have red put back to brown*
Man: Yeah, that’s hot as shit… *wanders away*
My friend: Ooh, sorry I’m late. Were you making a friend there?
Me: WHY ARE YOU NEVER ON TIME? WHY?
The lesson here is never dye your hair red and ALWAYS BE ON TIME FOR YOUR FRIENDS.