All I want for Christmas is…

Now I’m not going to lie and say all I want for Christmas is you because let’s be honest, I probably don’t know you and that would be creepy so let’s go with all I want for Christmas is a selection of the following…

An extra hour in the day


I’m quite busy. If anyone knows where I could get a time machine so I could fit in writing, reading, listening to music, watching waaaaaaay too much TV as well as traveling, eating and pretending to start running.

The desire to run

I started running earlier this year. And then I stopped. Because it’s horrible.

The National


I want the entire band. There’s room in my bedroom for them to set up and play me to sleep every night and wake me up every morning. And I’d love a greatest hits set while I’m working. I’m thinking ‘About Today’ for bedtime and ‘Apartment Story’ for an alarm clock. And everything else ever in between.

A Mogwai

I asked for this last year. I didn’t get one. Someone did email me and say he would buy me one if it wasn’t creepy but he thought it would be so he didn’t. Just FYI, it wouldn’t be creepy unless it was a real Mogwai as in, one I couldn’t feed after midnight. That would be a bit weird. And impractical because I travel a lot and I don’t know if the Mogwai/Gremlins curse counts moves according to what timezone you’re in.

Unlimited airmiles

I have super itchy feet right now. This year I only made it to Vegas, Dallas, Austin, Toronto and the UK and I know that’s not a bad run but there are so many more places I want to go. Next year, travel plans made when drunk include Ecuador, Argentina, Iowa, New Orleans, a Florida-Alabama-Mississippi-Louisana-Texas road trip and I’ve got a really strong urge to go to Russia. Probably won’t make it to Russia. And I’m already scheduled to go back to Toronto and Vegas so, you know, if it ain’t broke…

Asshole detector

(there’s no picture for this because I googled ‘asshole’ and kept getting pictures of George Bush and James Cameron. Weird.)


This has to exist, right? Someone has to have one of these, yes?

CM Punk
While I’ve got The National as my in-house stereo system, I could really use WWE champion, CM Punk, to do a few odd jobs. I’ve got a curtain pole needs putting up and he could read me comic books while I’m working. Love that guy.

I feel like I should include some more achievable items in case my mum’s reading this but really, I don’t need anything. I am an incredibly lucky person and I have everything I could really want or need (except a toaster. I do need a toaster) and if I could just have a happy, healthy Christmas and New Year for my friends and family, I’d be pretty chuffed.
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
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3 Comments

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  1. you are so funny.
    I LOVE your books they make me laugh and cry (at the apropriate times of corse!)… you are just so easy to relate to. i love it.
    Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year 🙂

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  2. You are fantastic, so funny and make so many people happy with your thoughts on twitter and your wonderful books. Hope you have a fantastic christmas and get at least one of the above (even if it is a toaster!). Happy 2012, can’t wait for I Heart London – I mean Angela had to go home sometime didn’t she? ❤ you. X

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  3. That’s a really great list.
    Oh and if you find a spare flying De-lorean, send one this way as I could do with the time travelling thing myself! 🙂
    Merry Christmas and hope Santa brings you them all (your book I Heart Las Vegas is what he’s bringing me in my stocking!)

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