Blame Sex and the City, but dating in the Big Apple has always seemed so much more glamorous than here in the dreary old UK. But never fear, as our pond-hopping Lindsey has written her top tips for dating like a New Yorker for cosmopolitan.co.uk.
It’s all about multi-dating
It’s been four years since I’ve been in London (and I was only single in London for a year, so I was rubbish at it anyway) but the big difference when I moved over to New York was the ‘multiple dating’ thing. I think it has become more okay in the UK because of online dating – which MAKES people multiple date. But the thing is, in New York the guys have got so much choice, and because they don’t have to date one person exclusively, and you can’t say anything about it, you just have to be like, ‘oh cool you can’t see me on Friday because you’re seeing one of your many other women!’ so yeah, I know it’s disgusting, and this is probably why I’ve not got a proper boyfriend because I refuse to play into this nonsense. You’ve definitely got to be comfortable with yourself and your own choices, I can’t multiple date, I’ve tried it and it’s hard, and it’s expensive because I won’t let guys pay for everything, because I feel weird about it because it’s 2013. And it’s tiring, and who’s got time to date two people or more when you’ve got a job and friends – it’s like, I’m very sorry I need to be drunk with my mate Terri now so why am I wasting an evening on you, loser!
Don’t reach for your purse (or do, but prepare for it to get awks!)
The biggest thing that I still find really uncomfortable, which I never found a problem in the UK, is they do expect to pay for everything. Which, in one way is nice because they want to be gentlemen, but at the same time, it’s annoying. I’ve had guys be pissed off because I’ve tried to pay – they’re genuinely offended because they’re like, ‘oh you’re trying to emasculate me!’ but I’m just trying to be a decent human. Potentially we would be in an equal relationship where we’re both grown-ups and I should be able to get the next round without him getting offended. It’s a really weird thing for me, that they expect to pay for everything.
Hold fire at the end of the night
With New York men you do have to hold your fire, you have to let them contact you which I am AWFUL at because I’m like, ‘I liked you and we’re grown-ups so I wanna say thanks for the date’ or like ‘it was nice to see you,’ but you’ve gotta wait three days before he contacts you and NOTHING makes me more infuriated because if you really gave a shit than you could send me a text and be like ‘oh tonight was really fun’. It’s just rude.
Don’t put kisses on the end of your messages
It’s very straightforward in New York, and obviously if you do (put kisses on the end of your message) you’re a crazy cat lady! So you really have to reign it in.